Let's Do This Thing

                I have been hesitant to do this post.  Mainly because it is not the first time I have posted about my big plans to get healthier and lose some weight.  I have actually done it, too.  I have said I was going to get healthier and lose weight and did it.  During my hubby’s last deployment in 2012-2013, I lost over 25 lbs.  The hubs actually lost a little more I think.  Unfortunately, when he got home, it was too easy to jump back into old habits.  This was especially true because after a deployment he wants to eat at all those yummy restaurants and meals he missed during deployment.  Heck, I don’t blame him.  To be honest, this isn’t the first time that has happened.  I usually lose weight while he was deployed and then gain it back (and then some) when he gets home.  I actually had a friend at work years ago tell me shortly after a deployment, “Your hubby must have gotten home again.  You’ve got that happy weight gain going on.”  I wasn’t offended.  She was correct.  I call it the deployment weight cycle.  He leaves.  I lose.  He comes home.  I gain.

                What is different this time?  The hubby and I are doing it together.  We are working out together 5-days a week and making healthier choices at home when it comes to our eating.  Right now, we are following Chris Powell’s carb-cycling plan, which basically means you alternate high and low-carb days and get one “reward” day a week where you can eat the foods you love, within reason.  While we have been working on nutrition for the past month, we have only been following this plan for a week and so far, I am happy with not only the results, but with how I feel overall.  My favorite thing about the program is that it doesn’t require me to give up foods that I love, mainly cheese.  On the low-carb days, you eat more fat, which means cheese!  It also lets me have Greek yogurt on a daily basis if I want and pretty much unlimited veggies.  So many eating programs want me to give up dairy and I will be honest, I could give up meat before dairy. I just like that the plan is flexible, gives me options, and I feel like I am eating super healthy and not starving myself.  That is a big win for me!  The only negative I have found (and it might really be a positive) is that I have to eat 5 times a day, which means I feel like I am thinking of food ALL THE TIME.  Honestly, I am pretty sick of thinking about my next meal. 

                We actually started working out prior to New Year’s, just to avoid this being another New Year’s resolution.  We’ve been doing Insanity Max: 30 and it is kicking my butt.  We are working out 5-days a week together, most days at around 5:30 am.  Hubs is also usually working out one other time a day.  Overachiever.  Early morning workouts are not my thing, but it is getting easier.  I have found that getting up early seems to improve my energy level and motivation the rest of the day.  Now, I just need to get where I can go to sleep earlier.  I LOVE Shaun T and Insanity is how I lost 25 lbs. in two months last time.  I’m not expecting to lose the weight as fast this time, mostly because I am eating a lot more food.  Previously, I am pretty sure I wasn’t eating enough.  However, I want to make sure I am completely doing it the right way this time and in a way that will be sustainable after I reach my goal.

                After four weeks, we have our results folks.  I have 8 ½ pounds and over 11 inches, 2 of those from my waist alone.  Even better, I feel great, my energy level is so much higher and I am not hungry.  If anything, I spend a lot of my day feeling overly full.  The hubby has lost a little more than I have weight wise, which seems unfair, but he has been working out more and is a guy.  Plus, I have lost way more inches, not that this is a competition or anything.  HA HA.  

I Owe My Daughter an Apology

Letter to my daughter:

Dear Lila, 

I owe you an apology.  I am sorry for being so short with you at the bus stop this morning.  I was aggravated that you didn’t know where your book bag was when the bus arrived, but I should have handled it better.  I saw the expression on your face when you walked away and I know I hurt your feelings.  I truly am sorry about for that and for sending you off to school upset. I know that misplacing your book bag was a mistake and luckily, it was found in time.  I know that you will do better from now on with keeping up with it at the bus stop.  I want you to know that I love you and am proud of you and that I make mistakes, too, like I did this morning when I hurt your feelings when I was aggravated and short.  I am sorry. 

I love you, 

Mom

You see, this morning I had one of those sucky parenting moments.  Most, if not all, of us have them. While playing at the bus stop, Lila misplaced her backpack this morning and when the bus arrived she couldn’t find it. Luckily, one of the parents found it in time.  It really wasn’t that big of a deal.  However, I was immediately aggravated and impatient and when she ran by me on her way to the bus after finding it, I very shortly said something to the effect of, “Not keeping up with your book bag is NOT OKAY.  YOU. WILL. KEEP. IT. WITH. YOU. FROM. NOW. ON.”  The expression on her face as she kept heading to the bus said it all. Her eyes watered up and she immediately put her head down and kept walking.  Her facial expression has stuck with me all day.  I screwed up.  I sucked at being a parent in that moment.  So, how do I fix it?  I apologize. I remember that look and hope that next time I am aggravated over something simple, I will remember it and remember that we all make mistakes and that’s okay.  I’ll try to cut her some slack.  I’ll try to do the same for myself.  I now that those sucky parenting moments are going to happen.  I just have to try to do my best to fix them the best I can, learn from them and work to be better.  

WA to GA to FL to Germany....We made it!!!

View from the castle ruins in Velburg, Germany

I seriously planned to blog this entire trip from Washington to Germany, but I very quickly realized that with our time so limited, blogging would not stay at the top of my priority list.  So, I figure I will try to give everyone a quick update of what the past month plus looked like for the West Fam. It has been wild, crazy and we’re still not completely settled in Germany, but we are beginning to feel like we are on the downhill slope.

We left Washington headed to Georgia on May 30^th.  We spent a couple of days exploring southern Utah, made a quick trip to the Big Texan and Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, TX and then pretty much headed straight for Georgia.  Thoughts on the trip:

1.       Southern Utah – AWESOME!  BEAUTIFUL!!!  I would love to go back when we get another chance.

2.       Cadillac Ranch – Nothing like teaching your children how to graffiti at a young age!  Also, I am quite sure that walking across a dirt field in the middle of crazy winds has to be one of the more miserable things I have ever done.  It gave me a new respect for what my hubby went through during his time in the sandbox…on top of the whole war thing.

3.       The Big Texan – Food was good.  Hotel was cheesy awesomeness.  Loved that they had a fenced in doggy area.  Cory and Grayson both woke up sick the next morning.  Can’t say for sure it was the restaurant as it could have been the gas station chicken fingers they had for lunch.

4.       The rest of the trip – lots of driving, the shortest stay ever at a Motel 6 and thankfully, a safe trip home.

Once we got to Georgia it was a whirlwind of trying to see everyone we wanted to see and that wanted to see us.  This consisted of multiple trips from Cairo to Columbus and back again, a quick trip to the beach and an even quicker trip to Six Flags to see our besties from Athens and their kiddos. Before we knew it, time was up and there were so many people we didn’t manage to fit in our schedule.  L  I guess it is always that way when you live far away and have limited time at home. All too soon, it was time to head to Germany.

Cairo to Tallahassee to Conyers to Baltimore to Germany

July 7:  Get up at 5:45 a.m. and go to Tallahassee to pick up rental van to drive to Baltimore.  We would have flown from GA to Baltimore, but Hobbs, our very large German Shorthaired Pointer required a GIANT kennel and there wasn’t a flight from GA to Baltimore that could fit it in their plane. I think it is safe to say we love our dog, or are just gluttons from punishment. Then stop in Conyers, GA to pick up USDA paperwork that allows us to take Hobbs to Germany. (Side note:  This was the biggest pain ever.  It had already required multiple vet visits, multiple faxes back and forth to the USDA, a drive up to the USDA the prior week and then the stress of making sure we made it to Conyers on the 7^th by the time they closed at 3 p.m., providing they didn’t decide to close early like they did the week prior). I also spent approximately 3 hours on the internet in the car attempting to find a hotel near the Baltimore airport that would accept our giant dog without charging us 5 million dollars.  We finally made it into Baltimore at about 1:30 am.  It was a super-long day and we were exhausted, but on the positive side, driving through Washington, D.C. at night was pretty cool.  Also, I learned that the Pentagon is a lot closer to the White House than I ever realized.

July 8:  Get up early and go to pick up aforementioned giant dog kennel.  As we didn’t have room in the car for all our luggage and the dog, we had to ship it to a friend’s parents’ house to pick it up.  Thanks, Amy’s Dad!  Then, we had to run to pick up an extra suitcase for all our odds and ends that wouldn’t fit into our suitcase.  Go back to hotel, reorganize everything and pack all suitcases and carry-ons.  This brings our total bags to:  5 checked suitcases, 2 car seats, one stroller, one backpack carrier, one duffel bag, two laptop bags and 5 carry-on bags.  Kids had to carry on their own backpacks!  Since we wouldn’t all fit in the van, Cory, Hobbs and Grayson rode in the van to the airport while Lila, Collis and I took the shuttle. We got to the airport about 9:30 pm. Then we proceeded to wait in line for what seemed like FOREVER!  Okay, maybe it just seemed that way because we had three kids and a giant dog kennel we were toting around.  Got everything checked in with one of our suitcases weighing in at 69 lbs. with a 70 lb. limit.  WHEW!!!  After that we had to wait until almost midnight to hand over Hobbs to the folks to put him on the plane.  Then, it was off to clear security.  Yep, it was another rather insane moment or two.  Get to the gate, load the plane and get everyone settled for our 1:40 am takeoff.  Our plane was HUGE and had two stories.  It was pretty cool!  Our flight attendants were fantastic, bringing us bottled water before we even took off.  Grayson was asleep before takeoff and the other two kids followed shortly behind and slept pretty much the entire 7 hour and a few flight. Once again, I can’t complain even a little about the flight.  We were served two meals and the crew met our every need.  Grayson and I got a row to ourselves, so he was able to stretch out and sleep comfortably.

July 9:  Flight landed in Germany at about 3:30 pm local time (12:30 GA time).  Then it was quite a few hours of hurry up and wait military style.  Hobbs apparently spent a lot of the flight howling/barking as he was hoarse when he barked when we got him back.  I didn’t even know dogs were capable of getting hoarse, but it happens.  We cleared customs (so much easier than I expected) and then sat down to wait and find out the next steps.  As our base was a good distance from the airport and it was getting late, they put us up in a hotel for the night.  This required about a 30-45 minute bus ride.  We couldn’t get Hobbs’ kennel to fit under the bus, but luckily our bus driver was super nice and allowed him to ride on the bus with us.  We got to the hotel, had an awesome German meal at their restaurant and got everyone settled for the night.  I was worried we wouldn’t sleep as it was still 6 hours earlier, but I guess the benefit of an overnight flight and super-long day was that we feel asleep pretty easily.

July 10: Get up at 10 am to get on another base.  Unfortunately, this bus driver wasn’t as nice and we had to find a way to fit Hobbs under the bus for the ride to out next destination which was 8 hours with stops.  Luckily, once again, he seemed to be doing fine on the other end and we did get to take him out once and walk him a bunch. After the long ride, we met up with our sponsor who brought us to our hotel where we

will be for the next few weeks until we get our house. 5 beds, 1 room, no phone, but a HUGE tub!  I’m happy.  We grabbed a quick bite to eat at this awesome Greek restaurant right around the corner and then to bed.

Group selfie!!!

July 11:  Cory had to go to work, so I was a little freaked about the whole foreign country, not speaking the language and having to drag around 3 kids and a dog all day.  Luckily for me, I met up with our neighbor at the hotel who also just got here and her three boys who are a little older.  We decided to hike up to the castle ruins in the town we are in.  The locals told us to just keep going uphill.  Well, we did for a bit and then apparently we ended up going AROUND more than up and went all the way AROUND the hill where the ruins were located before a local on the other side told us to go UP…I guess we didn’t get it the first time.  After about 2 hours of walking we finally found the ruins and the view was spectacular.  We all loved it and then came back down for lunch at our hotel, which was delicious. Then it was naptime for the kiddos while we waited for Cory to get home.  We ended the day with another dinner at the Greek restaurant before settling in for the night.  Lesson of the Day:  Everything is easier with a friend, even if both of you are lost and end up on the scenic route.  It just isn’t as scary as doing it by yourself.

July 12:  Today, Cory was with us so we decided to hike back up to the ruins where he could see.  Now that we knew the way, it only took us about 30 minutes instead of 2 plus hours.  J Of course, we did see a lot more of the countryside when we got lost yesterday. It was still awesome, even if my calves were still killing me from yesterday. We also ran into this great group of Germans.  They spoke very little English and we spoke even less German, so it resulted in lots of laughter, hand motions and shrugged shoulders.  The older gentleman that was with the group actually helped Grayson down the castle stairs by holding his hand and then carrying him.  I guess when it comes to toddlers, there is no language barrier. After seeing the ruins, we did some more exploring around town and figuring out where everything is located.  Tomorrow, some friends that are already here are picking us up and taking us to their house as everything is closed on Sunday for the most part.

Castle ruins - Velburg, Germany

Huge Cross on a Hill over Velburg

This trip has definitely been a wild ride.  A little (okay a lot) stressful at times, but still pretty fabulous.  We are surrounded by beautiful old buildings and while being in a hotel in a local village has me way outside of my comfort zone, I am getting more comfortable by the second.  So far, we have realized that a lot of Germans speak at least some English and seem fairly accepting of our attempts at German, albeit with a southern twang that I am pretty sure doesn’t exist over here.  The produce in Bavaria has been nothing short of amazing.  I’ve yet to see a leaf of iceberg lettuce (gag) anywhere and every salad I have been served as been crispy and delicious.  We are trying to make sure we learn a few more German phrases every day and looking up phrases that we don’t understand when we get back to our hotel room.  We finally got our cell phones set up, but still need to get calling cards to call back to the states. We are walking…A LOT and trying to no get ran over.  This is definitely not the most pedestrian friendly area. A lot of the streets are super narrow with no sidewalks, so you have to pay attention. On a plus, though, our dog can go with us pretty much anywhere, except the grocery store.  He has been to eat with us wherever we go, which is nice. We should be in our house by the end of the month, which from what I understand is near a chocolate factory.  I guess all the walking will help to balance out the chocolate eating that I am sure is to come!  I am sure I missed 100 different details and will try to keep the blog more updated moving forward.  Much love and miss you all!

Building in Velburg, 1400

GA here we come...

Packed in like sardines!

After a few crazy days on the road and at the urging of friends and family, I decided it was time to update everyone on our trip with a blog post. As most of you know, we are in the middle of a PCS (permanent change of station) move to Germany.  However, before we go, we are road-tripping to Georgia to see family and friends. 

Beautiful Oregon

Day 1 (May 30, 2014)- After an insane day of cleaning, attempting to get everything in the car, realizing it wouldn’t all fit, giving some more stuff away last minute and then conning our friends that we gave the freebies to into taking our trash, we left Steilacoom around 6 p.m. and headed out. As we were getting ready to pull out, we realized that we left food that was meant for the cooler in our fridge.  Unfortunately, we had already turned in our keys to the property company, so we had to call and leave them a message letting them know we left it.  Who knows how much they will charge us to “clean” the fridge for that one.  We ended up driving to The Dalles, OR which was approximately 212 miles. It was a beautiful drive through the Columbia River Gorge at sunset.  After a very tiring day, we settled in at the hotel and due to our lack of organizational skills, we had to haul pretty much EVERYTHING up to our room and then back down in the morning. Needless to say, we reorganized and got all we need for the trip to GA in one suitcase so we only have to unpack one every night instead of all of them. 

Snake River in Idaho

Day 2:  We headed out of The Dalles towards Idaho.  It was a pretty cool drive watching the constantly changing terrain…mountains, green valleys and then into the desert.  It was a gorgeous sunny day, but as we crossed over into Idaho we encountered this crazy weather.  All of a sudden it got really dark, cloudy and super windy, but never did rain.  I guess it was basically a huge wind storm.  Also, on a really cool note, we saw 4 different dust devils. As we got closer to Twin Falls, we realized there was a Chili’s.  As Cory hasn’t eaten at Chili’s since we moved to Washington, we decided to head there for dinner…and then, our Bimbo (GPS) made us miss the Exit as it had been moved.  Lesson learned:  If you miss an exit on the Interstate in rural Idaho, it may require you drive 16 miles out of the way to get back to said exit.  UGH!  On a good note, we still got our Chili’s and then settled in at the hotel.  Another funny story for the day – I ran into a store in the desert of Oregon while Cory walked Hobbs.  When I came out, Cory tells me, “Hobbs had his first run in with the desert.”  Cory walked him through a field and when they got back on the road, Hobbs was limping like he was dying.  Come to find out, he had picked up a few sand spurs.  When Cory first told me that, I was sure that he had seen a snake.  I was glad it was just sand spurs.  Ha ha!  Total mileage for the day:  Approx. 471 miles.   

Day 3: Today was pretty awesome.  We got up this morning and let the kids play in the pool at the hotel for a bit before heading out on the road and ended our day in Tropic, UT which is just a few miles from the entrance to Bryce Canyon National Park.  As we headed out this morning, we stopped at a gas station and to fill up. It was the first gas station we ever saw that sold growlers of beer, including Mac and Jacks.  Also, we crossed the Snake River up from Twin Falls which was pretty cool. The drive through Idaho farm country, once again made me want to buy a ranch one day.  Of course, that might be one of those dreams that would be more work than I can possibly imagine it. Once again, we saw a ton of different landscapes and terrain. The drive through northern Utah was alright, but nothing overly special to me.  However, as we got further south, it was gorgeous. Lots of open land and cattle/sheep ranches.  The boys were excited to see REAL cowboys.  We also ran into the group from goldRush Rally in Salinas, UT.  Lots of beautiful and exotic cars.  Once we hit southern Utah and the beginning of the canyons, I was blown away. It is truly amazing.  We came through as the sun was getting ready to set and the sunlight off the canyon walls in Red Canyon are indescribable.  We took a few pictures, but they don’t come close to doing justice to the natural beauty of this place.  As I often am, I find myself truly blown away by God’s awesome artistry.  I am definitely looking forward to exploring more tomorrow!  Today’s mileage: Approx.:  489 miles

Tomorrow is a day of exploring, so while I am sure we will rack up some driving miles, I am not sure we will make much distance towards home.  We are planning to get up early and go explore Bryce Canyon National Park, Grand Staircase-Escalante National Park and the Grand Canyon.  A lot of it will be just scenic drives, but we may try to get in a little hiking as well if any of the trails are dog friendly.

For anyone wondering what our plan is or why we can’t tell you when exactly we will make it to Georgia that is because we really don’t have a plan per se.  We just head out in the morning and drive.  When we feel like we are a few hours from a stopping point, I start Googling dog-friendly hotels in towns on the atlas that are about that far away.  Also, we haven’t completely mapped out what roads we are taking so our plans are just pretty fluid.  We hope to make it to Georgia by Thursday or Friday, but that all depends on what fun things we find on the way that change those plans!  All in all the trip is going well.  The kids are travelling pretty well and Hobbs has been great.  The only issue is that after all those hours on the road, the kids are pretty wild when we get to the hotel at night and it takes forever to get them down for the night.  Hoping that we can get them out of the car more tomorrow and they can get more exercise, so maybe they will be better at night.

Red Canyon in Utah

Miles travelled:  1,172

Mileage left to Georgia:   2,180 miles give or take, depending on how many times we get tempted from the path, which with us, tends to be fairly often. 

On the Road Again, Just Can't Wait to Get on the Road Again...

Okay, plane, I mean plane! 

Living the Army life means one thing for sure. There is no telling where you might end up moving next.  For those of you who did not recognize the flag above, our next stop is GERMANY this summer!  We have known for a few months, but we have been waiting for things to be official, e.g. orders in hand. As of yesterday, we have our official orders and things are starting to happen.  We are very excited as Germany has been on our list of places we want to be stationed for years.  However, I would be lying if I said I am not a little sad to be moving even further way from our family and friends at home, as well as leaving our new friends and family here in Washington. 

This is definitely going to be a learning experience for all of us. When we moved to Washington, we did what is called a DITY or PPM (Personally Procured Move) and hired a company to actually transport our belongings.  So basically, we packed everything up, loaded it on a truck and they moved it.  We didn’t deal with the whole system of having the military move you.  That is normally complicated enough, but now we have the added addition of doing an OCONUS (Outside the Contiguous United States) move, which involves so much more.  I have been doing some reading and planning and my head is already spinning with all the details we have to work out prior to moving.  We are already making a list of what to sell/throw away, what to store and what to take with us.  Then, we have to further break down what is going with us into three more categories:

1.        In our luggage on the plane

2.       Unaccompanied baggage – Things we will need on arrival like sheets, clothes, dishes, etc.

3.       Household goods – Everything else that we are taking with us.

On top of all that planning, we have to make sure that we make it under our weight limit or risk paying out the wazoo in overage charges.  Then we have to figure out all the details in shipping our car, shipping our dog and oh yeah, shipping ourselves. Needless to say, Microsoft One Note is my friend and the lists have already started. I am sure all my military friends who have done multiple moves will be sick of all my questions by the time we leave.  To make it even more intense, I am finishing up my last semester of school before graduation right now and researching/applying to grad schools.  WHOO!

http://www.neuschwansteincastle.net/Neuschwanstein-Pictures.html

Of course, it will completely be worth it.  I mean, we get to move to Germany!  It is going to be one heck of an experience for sure.  Lila got a book of castles for Christmas and is already making a list of the ones she wants to visit.  Neuschwanstein, which the Disney castles are based on, is at the top of her list.  To be honest, it is on the top of my list, too!  We’ll also be within driving distance of Frankfurt, Nuremburg, Munich and the Czech Republic and only a train ride from so many other wonderful places.  Places we want to visit will be one more list we will be making.

I’ll try my best to post as we get ready for and make this transition and if you have any insight or advice, please feel free to share!  We can use all the help we can get! 

Tragedy and the Unconquerable Human Spirit

Boston Marathon 2013: in an act of terrorism, whether foreign or domestic,  two bombs were set off near the finish line . As of the last update I read, three are dead and at least 130 injured.  At this point no one knows the who are why and by why I mean the reasons the people will give because there isn't a why that I will every understand or fathom. 

As many others, I can't look at the scenes they are showing on the news and not be overwhelmed with the same feelings I felt on 9/11.  While obviously, the scale of this act is much smaller, there are still people not going home to their families tonight because of this insane, EVIL act.  For at least three, there will be a permanent hole in their lives. There are families that will never understand WHY someone would do this because there the very act is unfathomable for most of us. I think to myself, is this the world that I am raising my children in?  Was I being responsible by bringing children into a world where such evil exists?  Then I am reminded that some people live every day in fear of bombings, like a blog I follow, called A Soldier's Mother (israelisoldiersmother.blogspot.com).  She lives in Israel where bomb shelters and sirens are a daily part of life.  Yet,  her posts still are alive with hope and love for her country.  Perspective. I will strive to follow her lead.

I have spent a large part of the day, just sitting here perusing the internet and Facebook for updates while doing school work.  I have found myself shedding tears quite a few times, not just out of sadness and anger for what has happened, but because I am reminded of 9/11 in another way. I am reminded of just how we can come together in times like these.  We spend so much time as a nation and as a people divided and fighting against each other.  However, in times like these, we are one. You just have to peruse social media to see this spirit:

~In Columbus, GA, my hometown, a group of runners met at a local running club this evening and ran in honor of the Boston victims, just hours after the bombing. 

~There are reports  that Boston Marathon runners who  ran to local hospitals to see if they could give blood or help in any way

~local restaurants who are having a "pay if/what you can policy"

 ~locals who are offering to open their homes to complete strangers

~Google immediately set up a website to allow people to connect with each other in the wake of the tragedy.  

~There are videos showing people running INTO the blast area to help the injured.

You see, a tragedy like this can take us to the depths of darkness, but this is the light that can pull us out.  It is the strength and compassion of the human spirit for each other. It is what shows us that at the heart of the human spirit lies the most important thing of all…love, love for your fellow man.  I think in moments like this that Jesus would be proud.  Of course, he'd be prouder if we were like this all the time. 

So, to the terrorists who did this, you will never win, because  we will not allow you to crush our hope, nor our compassion and love. As long as we have that, you lose. You always will in the end.

As one friend said so eloquently, "Love and kindness and goodness are the whole sky. The bastards are a small cloud, full of themselves and their importance, blocking the sun for a second, and evaporating in its heat."

Playground Preacher

I figure that my darling daughter, Lila deserves her own post as we move into this deployment.  So many days she is my light in the gray, miserable, Washington rain.  She is also the biggest help I could ever ask for with her two younger brothers and I probably don't tell her nearly often enough how proud of her I am. She also astounds me at times.  I remember once upon a time, my friend Millie told me that I had an "old soul."  That's what I see with Lila. She is wise beyond her years.  Sometimes her faith and belief astound me, with both its intensity and purity.

Last spring, during a couple week period of multiple road trips, Lila read her Story Bible from cover to cover on her own. Not only did she read it, but she comprehended and absorbed it and afterwards would correct you if you said something that was wrong. Shortly after she did that my neighbor approached me and told me that her son had been coming home and asking lots of questions about God and Jesus.  She said that when she asked him where he was hearing this stuff from, he told her Lila.  Apparently she was on the playground telling everyone all about God and Jesus and the stories she knew from the Bible. At the time, I didn't really know a lot about their religious background, but did know that they didn't go to church at all.  I felt super-uncomfortable and told her that I hoped Lila hadn't started a conversation that she didn't really want to discuss, which afterwards I did think, "Why am I apologizing?", but you know, it was just a weird situation.  Well, it was really great, because she actually said that no she didn't have an issue with it at all and was glad that he was asking questions as they didn't really discuss it before. However, from that point on, Lila was dubbed the "Playground Preacher." We still call her that on occasion.  She has on multiple occasions complained about not being able to talk about the Bible at school and has even asked to go to a Christian School.  Hopefully, we will be able to make that happen in the next few years.

Since that time, Lila has kept reading the Bible, moving to progressively more difficult story versions and now her ICB version.  We have never forced her to read it, but just seems to crave it. There is such an amazing purity in her love of God, even in her prayer.   Sometimes, the things she prays for even catches me completely off guard.  With Cory being deployed, our prayers have started including prayers for his safety and health as well as all his soldiers.  She prays nightly for the families of the soldiers to have faith and not be scared. Those things I fully expected she would add to her nightly prayers, but the thing that caught me off guard was the first night when in her sweet little voice she said, "And please help the bad guys get right with you Lord and change their ways."  Took.  My.  Breath. Away. I do love that sweet, precious child.

When Christians Question Christians

I have been debating writing this post all afternoon after a conversation/debate with a friend via Facebook left me feeling very out of sorts, disturbed would be the best way to put it I guess, maybe even a little hurt.  Now, I will say I should never have even gotten started in the conversation in question to begin with and should have known better.  Please do know as you read this, I mean no disrespect to the other person involved in this conversation at all, but I think the direction the conversation went is a testament to some of the situations I sometimes find myself in as a Christian who doesn’t always follow along with the mainstream.

I have a friend (well lots of friend actually) who have varying beliefs about homosexuality and specifically gay marriage. It is no secret that I fully support gay marriage.  I make no secret of it and often find myself in heated conversations about it. Well, today, I once again opened my big fat mouth in response to a Facebook post.  I just couldn’t help myself.  I have had debates with this friend before and they have gotten rather heated in the past.  However, we have always remained friends and just agreed to disagree.  We’ve actually had conversations about the benefit of having friends who challenge you. I thought today was just the same.  Our debate included conversations about the constitution, freedom of religion, civil rights and pretty much the same as our previous conversations when the conversation took a turn I never saw coming.  I was told, “…. I just wish you took God's word as literally as you do the constitution...”  Ummm, wow.  It completely 100% caught me off guard.  My immediate thought was, “Ouch.  How dare she question my faith?”  When I told her pretty much exactly that, the response I got was that she had every right to question me and that when I professed to be a Christian but don’t support His laws my faith is called into question.  I did and still do 100% feel that calling someone into question like that, especially when it comes to their beliefs and faith is wrong, especially when I don’t feel like it doesn’t come from a place of concern about my well-being as a Christian, but from anger/discontent over different beliefs. I felt like I was basically getting told I was a bad Christian, if there even is such a thing.  Now, I am not saying that is how it was intended, but definitely the way it felt.

I know that some think we should take the Bible literally as it is written and a lot of people say there is no room for interpretation.  My question to that is then how the heck is it that we have so many denominations of Christianity, all with varying beliefs?  I’m a Methodist and we believe in infant baptism and have the scripture to back it up.  However, Baptists believe in full-submersion Baptism when you are ready to publicly commit to Christ.  They also have scripture to back up their belief.  Catholics has very different beliefs from Protestants.  We’re all Christians, though, right? If the leaders of the varying denominations have different interpretations of the Bible and they can’t come to a consensus and they are experts on the topic, then how is it that there isn’t room for interpretation? And why do we all have to be so caught up with being right? I mean if we as Christians feel the need to attack each others beliefs and call each other wrong, then what does that really say about us?  And how can we really impact the world if we are too busy arguing among ourselves to really help? I think healthy debate and discussion is a good thing, but not when it means we have to question whether you are a true Christian because you have varying opinions.

I guess as a Christian this is my thing.  You hear all the time about there being less Christians today.  I don’t even know if the statistics are correct, but I do know that I see a lot of people that automatically make judgments about me when they find out I am a Christian because of what they see on TV.   “Oh, you’re one of those church people.” I think as Christians one of the biggest things we can do is bring other people to Christianity. For me, I want people to look at me, the life I lead, the kind of person I am, my lack of judgment and disdain for those that feel differently than me and think, “Wow, she’s pretty cool.  If that’s what a Christian is then maybe I ought to find out what it is all about.”  I think that’s how I bring other to Christ. I don’t claim to be an expert.  I don’t claim to have all the answers or be the perfect Christian.  I don’t claim that my beliefs about certain subjects are the “right” ones, but they are mine and those beliefs are the things that help me sleep at night knowing that I am the kind of person I want to be. 

Message to my Fellow Military Wives

I know there are a lot of us with deployed spouses right now.  Some of us have husbands who have left in the past few months, some in the past few days and some that are leaving very soon.  For some of us, it is just another in a long list of deployments while for others it is our first.  Some of us are new wives, fiancees or girlfriends while others have been married for what may seem like forever.  Some of us work, some of us stay at home, some are new mothers, some have more kids than they can keep up with (that would be me most days). No matter what our differences, there is one thing we all have in common.  We love a soldier.  We will spend the time our soldiers are away keeping the home fires burning and worried about their safety.  Many of us will spend many hours on bended knee praying for their safety and many times our own sanity. We will be lonely.  We will miss them.  We will be scared at times.  We will worry about our soldier's safety and mental health. If we are parents, we will worry about how the separation will impact our children.  We will worry about how the separation will impact our relationship. We will face down Murphy who will rear his ugly head at the most inopportune times.  Deployments can be very scary and as I have often said, sometimes they just SUCK! There is no way around that part. 

I want to focus instead on some of the things that are fantastic about deployments.  Deployments are an awesome opportunity for self-discovery. You will learn so much about yourself as you face the months without your spouse. You may feel weak and scared to begin with but at the end of this journey you will have great pride in your strength and a new found confidence in what you can handle on your own. If you don't already, you will learn that you can do things like check your own oil, figure out what is wrong with a broken washing machine or fix that squeaky stair.  You will find that you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for and while the journey may not always be perfect, the rewards will be great. 

Deployments have taught me to learn to ask for help, something that is hard for me.  Hopefully, you will learn to ask for help, too.  It is okay to admit that you can't always do it all and learning to ask for help from others when you need it can be life changing.  Suddenly you realize, it isn't you doing it all on your own.  You have a whole group of people around you who are willing to help if you just ask.  

The other wonderful thing about deployments is the fantastic friendships you will make.  There is nothing like the friendships you will make with other women going through the exact same thing. There is a shared experience that you don't find outside of the military and some of those friendships will last forever. Some of my best friendships in life were made during the WORST deployments.  There is just an unbreakable bond there. When you are feeling down or like you just can't handle it, a good friend is usually just the thing you need. They will commiserate with you, help you when you need a hand, cry with you and at times, be the one to tell you to suck it up and put on your big girl panties.  If you haven't made friends with your fellow spouses, yet, do it NOW!  This it the single most important piece of deployment advice I can give you. 

There is a quote from a Sherrilyn Kenyon book that says, "The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight."  Just remember as you face this deployment that every struggle makes us stronger and more prepared to deal with the next adversity.  You will come out on the other side a stronger person who feels like they can take on so more than you do right now.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

With the current deployment just starting, I am reflecting a lot on the hubby's past deployments and our marriage.  To some, the picture above may seem counter intuitive.  I mean seriously, who could possibly think that separation could be good for a marriage? Well, in all seriousness, Cory and I used to feel this way and to some extent it still holds true. Prior to our 7th Anniversary, he had already been deployed 4 times for a total of about 40 months.  That isn't counting the numerous field problems and trips to the National Training Center.  We pretty much spent that time as newlyweds as we never spent more than about 18-months together at one time.  We got to experience the honey moon phase over and over.  Of course, we also got to experience that first difficult couple of years as a married couple over and over again. I do have to say that when you don't get to be with your spouse all the time, you definitely learn to not take them for granted.  You learn to appreciate them more.  As a matter of fact, when we found out my husband was actually going to be home for a while we joked that we weren't sure how much we would even like each other if we had to live together that long with no field problems or deployments.  Well, prior to this deployment we were blessed with being able to spend 4 years straight together with no deployments, the most time we have ever been together in our 11 year marriage. The good news is we survived with our relationship quite intact and stronger than ever.  The not so good news is that we kinda got spoiled by all that time together. 

Today marks the beginning of our 5th deployment together.  Saying good-bye to my husband was as difficult as always. Of course, today was a very different sadness than in the past.  I found myself not nearly as sad for myself and a whole lot more sad for my husband and kids. Maybe it is just age or the fact that I have done this so many times before but I am full confident in my ability to handle it.  Don't get me wrong, I am sad and I will miss my husband something dreadful and worry about him, but I know with the support of my family, friends and most of all my faith, I've got this.  However, I am so very sad for my husband and what I know he'll miss and have to endure.  That part SUCKS for lack of a more eloquent way to say it.

So, I don't know if I agree if absence makes the heart grow fonder and no, I don't thank our happy marriage on deployments and training.  Our happy marriage is due to love, faith, compromise, hard-work, perseverance and just plain stubbornness sometimes. However, the trials we face with separations do add a different deeper appreciation to the time we have together.  How I look forward to that time together at the end of this separation...

The Hard Questions

As a military spouse, there are some things that we discuss with our spouses that a lot of couples never discuss.  With deployments, soldiers are urged to update wills, fill out POAs (Power of Attorney), update life insurance and various other tasks.  I think this is one of the things that the Army does RIGHT.  I greatly dislike those difficult conversations and having to figure out the answers to the hard questions, but at the same time, there is a comfort in knowing that I have discussed those worst case scenarios with my husband and that I know how he would want things handled and vice-versa. 

With deployment looming in the too soon future, my husband and I went through the process of getting all this paperwork in order this last week. He had already taken care of all the updated Powers of Attorney that I would need for the most part while he was deployed so I could take care of anything that needs to be done while gone, from car tags to banking accounts.  We did have to get one more so that I can travel with the kids to Canada without him.  Apparently they have recently gotten stricter about parents taking kids across the border without proof of permission from the other parent.  Custody issues maybe?  

The big things we had to take care of were our wills.  In the past, my husband has always had a will and I haven't.  However, when he went through the process of updating life insurance and such recently, it quickly became apparent that we should both have a will just in case the worst of the worst case happened and something happened to both of us.  As military families we spend so much time worried about our spouse that we rarely consider if something happened to ourselves or even worse, both of us.  Luckily, the Army gives us free attorneys to walk us through this process. I have to say that it was quite helpful as I was lost in the applesauce without the attorney…trusts, executors, life insurance, estates…yep, I was clueless. The JAG attorney was fantastic and walked us through every step.  

  

On top of our wills, we also both now have Advance Directives.  You know those things that basically say whether we want our life prolonged by life support when there is no chance of recovery?  Depressing I know, but I am glad that if put in that position, my husband won’t be forced to make that decision for me as I’ve already made it. We also now have Health Care Power of Attorneys. Also, not a great topic, but just one more thing that makes sure we can make decisions for the other if one of us is incapacitated.  The last thing that we did this time around that I had never done was a Springing Power of Attorney.  Basically, your normal POA becomes null and void if the person becomes incapacitated. A Springing Power of Attorney (or Military POA in the military) goes into effect “if” the person is incapacitated.  Once again, it just allows one of us to handle the others affairs if they couldn’t. 

These are just a few of the things that we have discussed as a military family.  Others include our funerals, cremation vs. burial, where, etc.  For some people, this is morbid.  For us, it has become regular conversation. 

That being said, these conversations are hard.  It isn’t fun to think of something happening to your spouse, or I have learned, yourself.  It pretty much sucks.  However, whether you are a military family or not I urge you to do it.  Have those conversations. Draw up a will. If you feel strongly about your life being prolonged artificially, get an Advanced Directive. I have seen firsthand what people go through when they lose a loved one and there isn’t a will or when someone dies suddenly and they don’t have a clue what their loved ones’ wishes would be. We have all seen stories on the news of family battles when someone is on life support. A lot of times we think, “Oh, I’m young, I don’t need a will, yet.” Please, do it for yourself, do it for your spouse and if you have children, please do it for them. If you are a military family, take advantage of the services offered by JAG for free. Also, if you are having these conversations for the first time, know it gets easier.  As weird as it may seem, the more you talk about this subject, the less taboo it seems.  Or at least that’s the way it is for me.I know none of us wants to think about this subject, it would be weird if we did.  However,I think we need to have them.