Memorial Day - We still remember!

For over eleven years, I have had the privilege of being married to a soldier in the United States Army.  Yes, I did say privilege.  I know a lot of people when they think about an Army spouse, think about the separations and the sacrifice, but it has given me so much.   It gives me pride in my husband, myself and my family every single day.  

On the flip side, we have also seen our share of loss.  On this Memorial Day, I will remember those men and their families.  Here are just a few that if you knew, you were privileged.  If you didn’t, you should have and at least I can tell you just a little about them.   

The picture above is of our Memorial Wall at our house, which serves as a constant reminder, not that we need a visual one as these soldiers each live on in our hearts and minds. It also is a great tool for teaching our children about these soldiers' sacrifices.

SPC Steven Ray Givens – May 8, 2005

 Givens was killed in Iraq on Mother’s Day in 2005.  He was the first person from Hardrock, 1-15 Infantry killed in action during that deployment.  He also served with Cory in Korea in 1999-2000 in 2-9 Infantry.  The guys all say he was constantly cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. I can’t imagine being his mother and finding out about losing your son on any day, but especially not on Mother’s Day.  She said he had sent her flowers that year, which was the first time he had ever done it.  I think of her often, but especially as I celebrate Mother’s Day with my children every year. Remember him.

 - http://www.militarytimes.com/valor/army-spc-steven-r-givens/853756/

SSG Jason Alan Benford- September 27, 2005, Ramadi, Iraq

 

Jason and Cory were really good friends at Ft. Benning.  They were in the same company when Cory first got to Benning and it seemed their careers ran parallel in a lot of ways.  They completed Bradley Master Gunner Course and BNCOC (Basic Non-commissioned Officer’s Course) together.  At Master Gunner School, Jason was the Distinguished Honor Grad and Cory to this day will tell you Jason is the only reason he passed .After we all became friends, we found out that his wife Kim’s mom grew up with my step-dad, so there was a crazy family connection on top of their friendship.

Before leaving for Iraq, Jason moved to 2-69 Infantry, with some company reorganization, so when they left for Iraq, Cory and him were with different units and in different areas of Iraq. I’ll never forget the day I found out and then had to break the news to Cory.  It was heart-breaking.  Jason was killed by a sniper in Ramadi and while I know it is wrong, I take great comfort in the fact that the sniper who shot him, was taken out by a U.S. Army Sniper shortly after from what I have read.

Jason left behind a wife and two beautiful sons.  I’ll never forget watching Kim as she went through the immediate aftermath of losing Jason and the funeral.  I watched her with great pride as an Army spouse and thought to myself that if ever I should lose my husband, I only prayed that I could handle it with the grace, strength and pride that she did.  None of us would ever want to lose our spouse, but she is an example of how we could only hope to handle ourselves in that situation. 

We remember Jason on a regular basis.  Our youngest son, Grayson shares his middle name and my daughter, Lila, shares his birthday, June 8^th, so Jason is always a part of our family.  We still talk of him often and are still stunned on a regular basis when we see pictures of his sons and how quickly they are growing up.

We love you, Jason and remember you always.  I am sure that your hair is perfectly groomed and you are as beautiful as always in heaven.

http://www.militarytimes.com/valor/army-staff-sgt-jason-a-benford/1146228/

On October 17, 2005, one of the Bradley Fighting Vehicles in Cory’s company was hit by an IED and caught on fire, injuring several of our soldiers from Hardrock, 1-15 Infantry. Over the following weeks, we watched these soldiers fight to overcome their injuries, but for several, the injuries were too much. It was a very difficult time for the soldiers and families of Hardrock as we lost these wonderful soldiers.  I can remember that time so well as we attended what seemed like an endless line of Memorial Services on Kelly Hill and how many times, I fought the urge to just not go, but knowing it was the right thing to do, to show our support for those families.  I knew that if it was difficult for me, it could only be infinitely more difficult to the families of these soldiers.

SSG George T. Alexander October 22, 2005

 SSG Alexander, or A-Train as the guys called him, was a charismatic guy.  I’ll never forget the first time I met him at a platoon dinner before the deployment.  He came into dinner late, but dressed like he was headed out on a hot date.  He had a smile that could light up a room.  As soon as he walked in the door, I told Cory, “Alexander smells GOOOOOD.”  I still to this day don’t know what kind of cologne he was wearing, but I could smell him across the room.  J I know the guys all loved him and he left behind several children who must still be missing their Daddy to this day.

Funny story about Alexander is that while in Kuwait, he was racing another soldier and broke his wrist.  If nothing else, our guys are always competitive.

SSG Alexander was also the 2,000 U.S. Soldier to be killed in Iraq.  Over the days after his death, it seemed every time I turned on a news channel, they were using his death to make a political point.  I was pissed as all I could think is that his death shouldn’t be used to make someone’s point, that he was a soldier, a man, a husband, a father, a son and so much more.  He wasn’t a number to be used in a political debate.  Apparently, I wasn’t the only one as one of the writer’s over at Blackfive put into words what I was feeling.

http://www.blackfive.net/main/2005/10/godspeed_staff_.html

SGT Michael T. Robertson October 25, 2005

SGT Robertson (Doc Rob) was the medic on the Bradley that day in 2005. He was the senior line medic for Hardrock and always went out with 1^st platoon.  He left behind a wife, Tanya, who was also a medic and his son, Xavier. I never met Doc Rob, but I know all the guys cared for him deeply and he is missed.

http://www.landstuhlhospitalcareproject.org/Honorees/Michael%20T.%20Robertson/Michael%20T.%20Robertson.htm

SPC Darren Howe November 03, 2005

 Darren was driving the Bradley that day that it was hit by an IED and even though injured, he managed to keep driving and get the Bradley safely to the side of the road.  He left behind a wife, Nakia, and two small children.  I am friends with Nakia on Facebook and every time I see her name pop up, I can’t help but remember.  She seems to be doing okay and she posts of Darren often.  I was friends with Darren’s stepdad during the deployment and he kept us updated as Darren was sent to San Antonio for treatment which is where he was when he died of the wounds he received that horrific day.  Darren was originally Cory’s Bradley driver at the beginning of the deployment, but had to come home for surgery and then went back to Iraq.  That’s just the kind of soldier he was…

http://beatricedailysun.com/news/local/obituaries/article_3ee14cd0-00ce-5995-8f15-b1f5d2927d52.html

SFC Alwyn C. Cashe - November 8, 2005

Cashe was the Bradley Commander of the vehicle that day.  Although severely burned and soaked in diesel fuel, he went back in the Bradley to help pull guys out.  He was awarded the Silver Star for his actions, but currently the soldiers of Hardrock, his leadership and a fabulous man by the name of Harry are working to have that award upgraded to a Medal of Honor, which he no doubt deserves.  I think of Cashe every time I hear the song by Big & Rich, the 8^th of November, just because that is the date he died.  Cashe always caught attention, because he loved country music and hunting and was black.  No, it’s probably not politically correct, but among the military it hardly ever is.  They told him he was the whitest black man they knew.  Cory teased him about listening to Trisha Yearwood the first time he ever rode with him in his truck.  One of Cashe’s favorite sayings was, “Do what I mean, not what I said.  You know what I meant to say!” 

http://www.blackfive.net/main/2011/09/sfc-alwyn-c-cashe.html

SSG Roy P. Lewsader June 16, 2007, Afghanistan

 SSG Lewsader was in Hardrock during the 2005 deployment and was killed in Afghanistan in 2007.  He left behind a wife and five children. FIVE children that are without a father today because he made the ultimate sacrifice to keep all of us safe.  So, as you think about your life and your families, remember him today.

http://tribstar.com/local/x1155697888/Family-of-Staff-Sgt-Roy-P-Lewsader-Jr-is-dealing-with-loss-of-man-with-heart-of-gold

1SG Kenneth (Kenny) Elwell - July 17, 2011

Kenny was killed in Afghanistan on July 17, 2011 while with 1^st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25^th Infantry Division.  Before being assigned to 1 SBCT, 25^th Infantry Division, he was on Kelly Hill with Cory for many years and went to Master Gunner School with both Cory and Jason Benford in 2004.  He left behind a wife, daughter and son.  Like so many of our soldiers, he was much more than just a soldier, he was a son, brother, husband, father and friend.   

http://www.phillyburbs.com/family-remembers-fallen-soldier-a-northampton-native-and-cr-grad/article_5b4727b7-8003-579f-882e-eb9a78ab2c76.html

I know for too many people, Memorial Day is a day about grilling out and enjoying a day off work.  I just hope everyone takes a small second this Memorial Day to focus on what it is truly about, remembering the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice.  Remember that those men have a name and left behind families and fellow soldiers that continue to miss them today.  If you have children, please make sure they know what this holiday means.  We will remember and celebrate the great friends we have lost and all the others that came before and after them.  We love you all. You are missed. You are our heroes.

 From Cory:

Every America tonight should sit down at the dinner table and look into their children’s eyes and think about the future and how thankful they are for their children to grow up free and to have the ability to pursue the life they have always wanted.  Think about exactly how much a Soldier sacrifices and gives to preserve that very freedom and how much they pay in blood, sweat and tears literally. Soldiers willingly walk a dangerous path fully knowing the hazards of their chosen profession and all the possible outcomes; understanding what they leave behind.   

My comrades remind me of John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  On the battlefield, it doesn’t matter what your race, religion, or sexual preference is.  What matters is that you are there beside me defeating the enemies of our nation.  Whether to capture or to kill the enemy depends on whether or not they are a hostile threat to the very freedom we are here to preserve.  God help the enemy if he faces me and you for we will not stop until we are victorious.  We have been there many times and we have seen death. Many Soldiers carry invisible scars and burdens; mostly the loss of a friend and comrade. We willingly accept this so our children and children’s children don’t have to. Many Soldiers have tattoos to make hidden scars more visible to others; to remember their fallen brothers.  They are only there for others to look at, but not to discuss unless they were there.  If you were not there you will never be expected to understand. You will not be judge because you weren’t. Only the 1% of the nation is capable of showing up for the fight. I recognize this as a great privilege and honor to do so. All a Soldier wants is just a simple Thank You. To preserve the future for our children there is no price we will not pay.  I give a moment of silence to Honor all of the Fallen Heroes of this wonderful Nation.  God speed and God bless.