Praying Out Loud

It has been forever since I posted anything, but a friend of mine keeps her blog updated regularly and motivated me to put a post out there.  I guess this is a follow up to last year’s post Praying on Paper.  As I talked about in the blog, I’ve never been good at praying out loud.  I know it is one of those things I should do in order to get better at it, but for some reason, my normal talkative, un-shy, perfectly fine with public speaking self gets all flustered when I have to pray out loud, especially in front of people.  Well, recently, a friend of mine, Jessica who I met when I got to Washington asked me to lead a devotion at a get together at her house.  I’m still not even sure what made Jessica ask me of all people, as while we know each other because our husband’s work together, we don’t know each other overly well.  Also, while I am very open about my faith, I’m not necessarily someone that is constantly bringing it up to everyone I meet.  I have to say I was quite surprised that she asked me as opposed to some of the ladies that are in her bible study group, but she did.  Also, I knew I would be speaking to a mixed group of ladies with various beliefs. My first thought was, of course, “No way, no how.  This is way too far out of my comfort zone.”  My second thought was, “In order to improve, you have to challenge yourself and maybe, just maybe, you will have something to say that others need to hear.” So, I told Jessica I would most definitely give a devotional. 

When it came to picking a topic, I was really worried about finding something that would speak to everyone and be appropriate for the group.  Not everyone was from a military family and some were married, while others were single.  So, at the advice of Jessica, I thought about a specific scripture that has got me through rough times and found I couldn’t pick just one.  However, there is one feeling that I have felt often as a result of Cory’s deployments and just life in general, that feeling is loneliness.  With deployments especially, while raising a child on my own for a year+ and working full time, I sometimes felt very lonely.  You know how you can feel alone, even though you are in a room full of people?  I had my family close, other military friends that were experiencing the same thing and friends I’d had since high school, but sometimes, I still felt lonely.  I missed my husband, my partner in everything, my best-friend.  However, there is one thing that I can find comfort in during those lonely times and that is that He promises we are never alone.

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Joshua 1:5

 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.-Isaiah.” 41:10

That same promise is there, over and over and that is what gives me comfort when I am lonely.  I know I am never truly alone, as He is always there.

So, that is what I talked about as I gave the devotional.  I didn’t really have a planned script, just talked about what it has meant to me personally.  Of course, I got all teary-eyed and choked up.  This is coming from the girl who still cries in church on a regular basis.  I just got all choked up at the Easter Cantata when they sang, “Crucify Me.” So no, for anyone that saw me at Church on Easter Sunday, I truly wasn’t crying because I was overly tired and worn out trying to get three kids to Church, I’m just a big ole cry baby.

So, I did it.  I prayed in public, in front of a group of strangers and it felt good. All in all, I think it went well.  Of course, this is coming from a girl who normally just prays on paper.